(Per Tyler's suggestion to use bullet points.)
-I'm tired. Exhausted. And I work at 8a tomorrow. For all my lack of fulfillment being unemployed, I got more and better sleep than ever before. Now I'm back to 5-7 hours a night and being exhausted/nervous most nights a week.
- I really like Bloomington. I've felt for awhile that most of the people I talk to don't speak the same language as I've increasingly done, and there so many of them "got it" or seemed receptive to "getting it." I'm starved for more.
- All the professors really seemed to care about was research. Which wasn't surprising, but I had kind of hoped counseling psychologists would be better listeners/facilitators of dialogue than what I saw.
- I cry when I imagine/have people saying they love/care about me and mean it. And by "mean it" I mean "I believe it."
It doesn't happen often at all.
-Governor's School is still the only place I've ever felt appreciated for being smart/engaging/me.
- I think I set myself up to be in situations where I have to compromise because I don't want the disappoint of finding a great fit/solution and not having it pan out. Also, I don't think such things exist. It's tempting to think I'd be appreciated/fit somewhere. But, other than GSSE, I never have.
- I really like asking questions. And I care about the answers to [almost] all the questions I ask.
- I really wish other people did the same.
- I don't think I'll get into Indiana. And I'm preemptively bitter about it. I felt like a really good candidate. But I'm terrible at "The Game." And I'm really not sure there was anyone on the faculty who won't let the latter dominate the former.
- I have very little understanding of how other people conceive of me. I think I just assume pretty much everyone doesn't have a conception of me at all, that I don't merit one. I'm probably wrong.
-I'm tired. Exhausted. And I work at 8a tomorrow. For all my lack of fulfillment being unemployed, I got more and better sleep than ever before. Now I'm back to 5-7 hours a night and being exhausted/nervous most nights a week.
- I really like Bloomington. I've felt for awhile that most of the people I talk to don't speak the same language as I've increasingly done, and there so many of them "got it" or seemed receptive to "getting it." I'm starved for more.
- All the professors really seemed to care about was research. Which wasn't surprising, but I had kind of hoped counseling psychologists would be better listeners/facilitators of dialogue than what I saw.
- I cry when I imagine/have people saying they love/care about me and mean it. And by "mean it" I mean "I believe it."
It doesn't happen often at all.
-Governor's School is still the only place I've ever felt appreciated for being smart/engaging/me.
- I think I set myself up to be in situations where I have to compromise because I don't want the disappoint of finding a great fit/solution and not having it pan out. Also, I don't think such things exist. It's tempting to think I'd be appreciated/fit somewhere. But, other than GSSE, I never have.
- I really like asking questions. And I care about the answers to [almost] all the questions I ask.
- I really wish other people did the same.
- I don't think I'll get into Indiana. And I'm preemptively bitter about it. I felt like a really good candidate. But I'm terrible at "The Game." And I'm really not sure there was anyone on the faculty who won't let the latter dominate the former.
- I have very little understanding of how other people conceive of me. I think I just assume pretty much everyone doesn't have a conception of me at all, that I don't merit one. I'm probably wrong.
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